After 207 long arduous very very boring days, the NFL has finally returned! Welcome back flowing beer, chicken wings, flaming tables, and of course, 7 hours of commercial free football. With that, also comes our first week of my game picks. I will also be including my record predictions for the season so lets dive in!
Thursday, September 5th | Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs
To open up the season, we have a battle of AFC juggernauts. One, the Super Bowl champion and the other, the AFC runner-up. The Chiefs opened up last season as well, coming up short against Detroit. The Ravens still have their playmaker in Lamar Jackson, a man who may well be one of the greatest rushing quarterbacks ever (Cam Newton is still the best, sorry!) and surely want revenge on their party spoilers from last season.
Even though Baltimore has some brand new firepower in Derrick Henry, I don’t see the Chiefs losing in a week one opener two years in a row. They’ll pull this game out by the skin of their teeth.
Predicted Records:
Chiefs: 13-4
Ravens: 12-5
Predicted Final Score: 37-30 Chiefs
Friday, September 6th | Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles
The NFL’s first game in São Paulo, Brazil. A game where both teams were instructed to not wear green where both team’s main colors involve…well green. Jalen Hurts will surely tush push his way into the endzone at some point while 2023 breakout Jordan Love will sling it all over the field. The two newly arrived running backs, Saquon Barkley for the Eagles and Josh Jacobs for the Packers will also carry the rock leading to a very equal game between the two.
This is the game to see if the Packers are for real. While I think they in fact are, I don’t think they’ll come out with the win. I give this game to Philly, partially out of fear of their fans. Obrigado.
Predicted Records:
Eagles: 11-6
Packers: 12-5
Predicted Final Score: 28-24 Eagles
Sunday, September 8th | Pittsburgh Steelers @ Atlanta Falcons
Teams with two new quarterbacks dueling it out? Yes please! Kirk Cousins will bring the production of Kyle Pitts, Drake London, and even Bijan Robinson to new heights while Russell Wilson will attempt to revive his career after being sent to the quarterback hospice we call Denver.
However, Russ will have to cook next week as the Falcons will pull the win out and Cousins will wear his victory chains once again.
Predicted Records:
Steelers: 10-7
Falcons: 11-6
Predicted Final Score: 21-7 Falcons
Sunday, September 8th | Arizona Cardinals @ Buffalo Bills
I am a believer in this Cardinals team. I am not a believer in this Bills team. Arizona will make an example of Buffalo, putting the league on notice.
K1 + MHJ is going to be a duo the league will learn to fear quite quickly and they’ll connect in the end zone this game. Buffalo has lost too many key contributors and while Josh Allen will do what he can to carry his team to victory, the Bills aren’t there anymore and they’ll learn it this game.
Predicted Records:
Cardinals: 10-7
Bills: 7-10
Predicted Final Score: 42-14 Cardinals
Sunday, September 8th | Tennessee Titans @ Chicago Bears
The Titans made massive splashes in free agency and the Bears are finally coming together. This is going to be a defensive slugfest and I am going to love watching this game as it is also Caleb Williams’ rookie debut. Chicago will pull this out by a field goal.
Predicted Records:
Titans: 8-9
Bears: 9-8
Predicted Final Score: 17-14 Bears
Sunday, September 8th | New England Patriots @ Cincinnati Bengals
Drake Maye won’t be trotting out for the Patriots this week but regardless of who is at quarterback, they won’t win this week. The Patriots will be one of the worst teams in the league this year and the Bengals will make quick work of them.
Predicted Records:
Patriots: 4-13
Bengals: 11-6
Predicted Final Score: 35-14 Bengals
Sunday, September 8th | Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts
An AFC South showdown with two young upstart quarterbacks. Anthony Richardson, AKA Temu Cam Newton will surely use his dual threat ability to his advantage while CJ Stroud continues his tear through the league slinging the rock up and down the field.
Jonathan Taylor will also pound the rock best he can. However, Indianapolis will pull off the upset over Houston on the back of AR5.
Predicted Records:
Colts: 9-8
Texans: 10-7
Predicted Final Score: 31-28 Colts
Sunday, September 8th | Jacksonville Jaguars @ Miami Dolphins
A Sunshine State Showdown. A game with stars galore. The Dolphins need to prove themselves this year as do the Jags. Trevor Lawrence got his big contract as did Tua and they’ll show why they both were worth it this game.
However it will end in a Jacksonville teal-clad victory. Definitely a game to watch.
Predicted Final Records:
Dolphins: 11-6
Jaguars: 12-5
Predicted Final Score: 35-28 Jaguars
Sunday September 8th | Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints
The Panthers won’t be good and the Saints will be mediocre. New Orleans wins. Next! Jokes aside, the Saints need to put up or shut up this year and this game will be rather boring as this isn’t exactly a benchmark game.
It’ll be fun to watch Bryce Young with a more competent team at least!
Predicted Final Records:
Saints: 8-9
Panthers: 5-12
Predicted Final Score: 24-14 Saints
Sunday, September 8th | Minnesota Vikings @ New York Giants
The Giants are still waiting to see if Daniel Jones is the real deal and the Vikings are waiting on JJ McCarthy for next year. Its going to be a long year for the both of them.
Malik Nabers will light up the stat sheet almost assuredly but both teams have running games that are nearly non existent. This may be one to skip, even with a Giants win.
Predicted Final Records:
Giants: 8-9
Vikings: 7-10
Predicted Final Score: 14-7 Giants
Sunday, September 8th | Las Vegas Raiders @ Los Angeles Chargers
Jim Harbaugh is back in the NFL. Joe Alt is going to be baptized by fire. This game will be a litmus test for the Chargers while the Raiders have basically nobody at quarterback.
The Harbaugh Chargers will shock the NFL and we’ll see it start this week. The house won’t lose unlike Vegas.
Predicted Records:
Chargers: 11-6
Raiders: 6-11
Predicted Final Score: 21-10 Chargers
Sunday, September 8th | Denver Broncos @ Seattle Seahawks
Yeesh. The Broncos are going to lose this game handily. Bo Nix will look good but the Seahawks are just a far better team than Denver. It’ll be merciful but a quick death for the Broncos this game.
Predicted Records:
Broncos: 6-11
Seahawks: 9-8
Predicted Final Score: 28-7 Seahawks
Sunday, September 8th | Dallas Cowboys @ Cleveland Browns
Browns defense good. Cowboys bad. Browns win! Yay! Browns good. Cowboys lose! Boo! (Put in baby speak so Cowboys fans can understand!)
Predicted Records:
Cowboys: 7-10
Browns: 9-8
Predicted Final Score: 28-0 Browns
Sunday, September 8th | Washington Commanders @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Buccaneers are still carving a new post-Brady era and the Commanders have a new guy in Jayden Daniels. These teams are looking for identities and it will be fun to watch them battle it out.
Predicted Records:
Commanders: 6-11
Buccaneers: 10-7
Predicted Final Score: 17-14 Buccaneers
Sunday, September 8th | Los Angeles Rams @ Detroit Lions
Stafford is fully healthy and the Rams are hungry. The Lions came up short last year and they will take out their anger on the 49ers’ poor poor rival.
Predicted Records:
Rams: 10-7
Lions: 13-4
Predicted Final Score: 27-20 Lions
Monday, September 9th | New York Jets @ San Francisco 49ers
It’s the last year of the championship window for the 49ers. Its time to show out against the NFL and I believe this is the year they finally do it.
They’ll beat the Rodgers led Jets and take their revenge on the NFL for last season’s failure. This game will be anything but close.
Predicted Records:
49ers: 15-2
Jets: 10-7
Predicted Final Score: 42-14 Niners
